~Loving Again, Loving Forever~

For those of you who read my poem today through this blog I want to follow it up with a comment. I am in the middle of so very much emotional turmoil because of my pending divorce as well as trying to live together in peace with him for the sake of the kids and on top of that,for anyone who really knows me, I am lucky enough to have fallen in love. I am not very good at hiding my feelings when something feels off to me. In that way you can say I am very impulsive. What I wrote about is something that was real to me in the moment but has more to do with my own expectations and doubt than with what was really going on. I realize  that I am so wrapped up in the hurt and let down of my past that I tend to only see what is negative...I've missed the truth of what is real. I suppose after many years of feeling like I was not worthy of love or even part of what love means that I didn't see what was honest and real right in front of my face. I see it now thanks to my baby who loves me enough to put up with what my past has done to me.

So, to my Love I want to say this (Record it so If I go back to that dark place I can be reminded) I am the one who questions whether I am worthy of you....I, too, have times when whats ahead of us scares me...Yet, I don't doubt for a moment your Love for me or the fact that you want to spend your life with me. I know there are many miles and obstacles between us. I know that its not going to be easy. Yet I am ready to fight for us. And I know now that you are too. I finally see that if everything were easy the reward wouldn't be so wonderful. We do have mountains and things to overcome but together we will clear them.  I will wait forever just to feel a moment of your arms and love around me ...yet I am still hoping its only "moments" till I am with you forever!!

May 11, 2011

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