~ I See You Now~
As night closes in I find myself in the same place
as I have been so many nights before...
Feeling lonely and misunderstood,
broken and irreparable, I look to Him for an answer~
For he is my Love, my baby, my world.
I ask him so honestly,
"How are you so certain that tomorrow I will love you?
How do you make yourself believe that I will not go away
and abandon you and our Love?"
Speaking of Love itself, with a tone so loving and untouched by frustration,
He explains what love is as if talking to someone who has never before felt it...
He tells me all of the ways he knows I love him...
He reasons that this kind of love does not just go out like a light~
It will not be extinguished except if by the worst kind of damage
that only lying or cheating could do.
"I can see it there in your eyes, how you look at me." He says,
"Its there in the way you listen as I talk. Not just to what I am saying
but my words and the way I express myself.
I feel it when you say it. They are not just words but a surrendering to me.
I know that you Love me because of all the ways that you show your love.
I know I love you because of the way I want to be with you,
how I feel when you are away,
what seeing your name does to me
and how I feel when you look at me that way. "
I listen to him speak like its the first time hearing his voice
because every time I hear his words they are a gift to my ears.
As he lists the many ways he knows he Loves me I recognize it~.
I have tasted, felt and breathed every single 'symptom' of loving him.
I know somewhere deep inside that even if tomorrow he left
my Love for him would live just as deeply.
As if some part of me is suddenly mending,
(The part in me that he refuses to call "broken" but instead just 'off course',)
I experience something I've never before felt~
A surrendering to my vulnerability, a complete giving in to his heart
and suddenly I trust that he will never just fall out of love with me.
..That his love will burn just as steady and true as my own Love
does for him.
I know through his words that he understands me.
He truly has paid attention to me
and like no one ever before him,
he loves me for my bumps and bruises
just as he loves me for what makes me beautiful to him.
Its like he went inside of me where the hurt exists
and put out the fire of doubt that has burned so hot.
I felt a little bit of that doubt melt away.
I felt where there was once fear
hope had suddenly and finally connected.
Looking into his deep, dark and gorgeous eyes I saw an honesty,
a vulnerability
and a passion for me
that I've never witnessed from any man before him.
I saw hope but most of all through the fog I saw Love.
Tonight I will sleep peacefully with his words
and those Loving eyes to keep me warm and safe.
Tomorrow when I wake I know my doubt may come along
and try to suffocate me again~
It will try to feed off my vulnerability when he is away.
This time I won't allow it to win.
I will let his eyes and words wash over me and to push away the doubt
until only the truth is left here in my heart.
I love you Baby, forever <3
May 27, 2011
This is a very beautiful poem. U definatly have skills & trust me could be published easily. It has meaning, thought, feeling, depth, heart & soul all the things all the greats have. Thank u for sharing it with me it is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. U have a way with words.
ReplyDeleteThank you Carman. I hope all is well.I miss talking!
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