~You Chose Safety Over Love~

Where were you?
...Not on the other end of here
or savoring the words
I wrote
only for you.
Were you always
looking
eyes closed,
listening
ears blocked?
And when you tasted my desire
and I tugged on you
to hold me
what did your
taste buds experience?
I remember you excited
then playing it cool.
I recall your ego growing great big inside
your head
and the way you stated the truth...
Joking, promising,
what-if-ing
while all along you were
living inside of a safe place
where my love and desire
could not penetrate you.
Or did it?
You took every chance to be there,
took in every word and lived in it...
You disappeared when I told you to go,
to stop playing games and finally leave me alone
and when I asked you to give me
a chance to explain....
You stayed away.
If I didn't affect you then you would have
at least said hello.
You could have said anything but
saying nothing?
It appears I hurt you
and the only way for you to pay me back
is to hurt ME back...
Your silence tells me more
than any words ever could.
Your disappearance shows me
that you heart was tugged at
and now you are trying to recover.
Sorry I hurt you,
and I wish I had that chance to
kiss away your pain
but you
are not
going to let me in again
because I actually
got in
and nothing was in your control
and that scared the hell out of you...

So, its goodbye forever..
You'd rather be safe than happy,
in control of yourself
than out of your mind
in love
and happy.
Sorry you feel that way
yet more sorry that your fear will forever
be your only company.

Stacy J Roosa
May 16, 2010

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