~Love Unrequited But Never Dying~



Thousands of miles separate my Love from Me~
Yet a million times over I would swim that great wide Sea.
Wild Tides ebbing in, tumbling and crashing...
Out toward him and back over and over
Hope continues splashing.
For every Tide going out one must come back in.
My heart is holding out for our Love to finally win.

I'm calling out, pleading, to my Love somewhere far off and Lost.
While my body wading in the shallow ocean's waves is swayed and tossed.
My voice carried upon the gentle wings of a bird...
But sadly my Love has never heard even a breathless word.
A billion or so tiny grains of spiteful sand
lay between me finally holding my Lover's hand.
I pull my hand up through the sand and watch it sift through my fingers.
It burns my eyes but its in my Heart where the real pain Lingers.
I know if I could make my way across this distance with a swim,
I'm sure a single touch of my lips would seduce and ease him.
In a moment I'd gently touch his hand, smooth his hair,
and with that maybe I could soothe his fear?

Love to My Love, Sending my Kisses in the Air~
If just the right winds could catch them to deliver them straight unto there...
My Love, My Soul mate, My Kindred Spirit, My Beautiful Muse~
Yet it's He who keeps the distance between us;
it's not for Me to choose.
I already chose him, or rather my Heart chose my Amore...
and I think as my feet sink into the sand
"If I am not breathing for my Love, What the hell am I breathing for??"

I've dove into this ocean, I've fought the water and come halfway!
I've been surrounded by only the water of doubt as many a night followed by many a day.
My voice called out again, screaming into the thick, black night~
"Please, my Love! Love me! Why does Loving me take your sight?
You've already Loved me so well, so deep, in so many ways,
but its naming Love that scares you, It's "Love's" phrase.
I would not hurt you, I could not promise a Love more true 
except for my Promise to Forever and Always Love You."

Yet my Words are lost in the Many Miles at Sea,
Lost on His doubt and Lost in his doubt in Me.
Only the silence and the treacherous waves ebbed back.
My request to meet me halfway lost in the endless night's black

I've grown weary and tired as His absence grows so very long~
It was this very silence I once foolishly took as the Answer to my Heart's pleading song.
It was Doubt that so easily made my Hope stray
but I promise if he gives me a chance I will send Doubt away.

So I call once more unto the ocean and the skies above
what I feel, what I am needing, what I want of my Love.
"I am meant to Love you, Dear Man, Forever and a day...
It's Not for You or I to decide, It's for only Our Hearts to say!
If you can look upon me and truly say you don't want and never cared for me,
then I Will go away for Good and I will Finally Let you be...
My heart will keep its Promise no matter where your heart may lye~
And still I will Love you truly until the day I die...

~Stacy J. Roosa

Comments

Post a Comment

Have something to add?

Popular posts from this blog

Reaching out is the most difficult part

Apparently in spite of all the good things in my life I am currently caught, again, in the tight grip of depression. While I've experienced it most of my life, I can't always recognize that is has me until I'm well imprisoned by it's firm hold. One minute I'm laughing and enjoying the little things in life, the next I'm struggling with ugly, broken thoughts. And like pieces of glass in my head, the thoughts cut into the flesh and leave me bleeding only darkness. When I am in a depressive state I am not sad all the time. There isn't some large black cloud that follows me everywhere. If we are to compare it to weather, which I usually do not, I honestly feel soothed by the darkness because the sunshine is too much a reminder of what I should or could be. Depression for me is eating to try to fill the empty spaces inside. It's denying the sunshine by closing all the blinds. It's sitting at the dining room table with Jesse's family and my own dau...
Read more

~Your loss, My Gain~

Image
Okay, so its over. I wrote you an e-mail along with the blog, asked you to consider working through our problems to get back to our friendship but you have gone unseen and unheard. I should not be surprised. In fact, I should be relieved as I feel that I am the one who fought for us while you just rode the waves. I am a woman, lost at times, full of self-doubt and feelings of abandonment. Sadly, having issues like these can make maintaining a long-distance friendship hard. Even more difficult is when the other person goes along fine,it seems, but is never honest about their feelings like I believe you weren't. It's very possible that all that we went through was my fault and that I made it a mess from day one but you won't voice your emotions so how can I see anything but my side? I really wanted to see yours but I couldn't, you wouldn't let me. My last e-mail I asked you to come chat, to talk about what happened, or didn't happen, to cause me to think tha...
Read more

~ The Silencing Of An Abused Voice ~

When you go through life feeling almost everything that happens around you, it can be very difficult to separate your heart from your mind and what you feel from what you know.  Most thoughts are rooted in emotions when you feel so much.  Your perception of the world and how it views you is influenced by your own self-worth. Perhaps over feeling everything has to do with being abused~ At least for me. Sexually, mentally and physically~ All forms of abuse can eat away at the core of self worth and become so overwhelming that in time it's all one can do to not pick everything apart-even compliments-for some hidden insult. It's exhausting, to say the least, and it can put a lot of distance between yourself and others.  As if you aren't lonely enough in that dark and cold place, you become a victim of your own thoughts, doubts and worries. You feel shame for the abuse because in your heart, you wonder what you did to deserve it, to cause it. Your brain tells you that these...
Read more