~I Never Knew Love Until You Loved Me~

Never felt real love until I tasted the sweet pulp of loving you.
Was unsure of my own heart,unable to recognize the difference
between wanting
and needing
and this uncontrollable tug of war inside of me
called desire...

Was walking the world a shell,
an unfeeling, lack luster shadow of myself,
until your heart kissed my heart.
Suddenly loving you became my destiny.

And I never felt time's so slow and gluttonous appetite
devouring in its teeth every moment
I was forced to breathe
without you.

I hardly felt the rain, the way it made
my body feel so warm and supple
and finally beautiful and desired
as I laid next to you
in the grass.

What I was missing,
what was not in my grasp before you was
like a constant thirst, or a hunger,
a longing I could not fill or name
since it was always there
until you.

My eyes never as green as when they gazed upon you,
my lips never as full as when they pursed to kiss yours
and my breath in my breasts never so full as when you reached to touch me.





The world never as beautiful as it was
with you traveling it with me,
even if you were only with me
in spirit,
I saw beauty in all things,
even the dying summer browns.
I was alive and in love and finally free of my own darkness.
That was until you found your way without me...


Never felt pain until you hurt me,
not even the edge of the knife
until you sliced the depth of my heart.
The tears like acid burning my cheeks...
Never knew I could cry like that,
that I could cry for so long
until my own heart couldn't catch up with my gasping.
The darkness not so dark before you brought it to me;
Even the sun swallowed whole by its depth.
All the ugliness of the world was there every morning 
without you right here to hold me.

What you taught me in that short time spoiled me
since now I hold out for the beauty
and all the things that dare to try to compare to you
and those feelings you gave to me,
lie lonely and dying on the side of the road
to my own broken destiny...

I never knew how much I loved you until I lost you
and know I never will know that love again...

May 12, 2010

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