~Why She Stays~

She has yet to let anyone in...
Has welcomed them to her world, 
gave them her everything
but not her heart...
Never her heart.
She has a way of always keeping them close enough to feel her love
yet never deep within
to allow herself to feel theirs.
She cries in the night
even with their supportive arms around her.
She doesn't know that they love her more
than she could ever believe.
Yet sadly if she did realize
she would run straight back into his arms
because she feels safer in the tight, choking hold of his abuse
than in the wide open, sunshine~flooded space of true Love.
Like a fool she hungers for that control he takes from her~
For that abuse
because its all that she has known,
all she has breathed into her soul for so long.
He won't challenge or leave her.
He won't ask for her heart.
Like the dark she can count on him.
But the sunshine she cannot.
Why can't she let real love in?
The one who loves her simply for her
not him who loves her only for what he can get?
Why can't she see that he is going to choke her very soul
while leaving black and blues on her body?
Why can't she see that he may someday take her life?
Maybe because he is the only one who has stayed so long,
the only one she believes has seen the real ugliness inside of her
and made her pay for it.
The others?
They see a side of her that is scared, vulnerable and loving
but can't understand why.
They watch her try to control her world
but can not understand why.
They want to fix her.
Yet she proves to be broken beyond repair
so they let her push them away.
Yes, even as much as they love her, they believe that she would be better off
without them
(Or maybe they just can't stand by any longer watching her fade away).
He keeps her in his arms though,
always a little too tightly.
never letting her fall
because he knows if she falls
so does he.
He cannot live without her
anymore than She can live without that anger from him~
That very dependable 
and horrible
control he has over her.
At least that she can count on
till the end.


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