~My Search For Him~

For my Love, who I have always known would come find me and free me from my pain,I love you.

So many held breaths, broken sighs and tear-soaked pages between me and My Love~
I've had to endure so much pain and hurt
to be able to recognize the difference when a man's touch was love
and when it was not.
So many days closer to him
(and I hope)
worry,wonder~
will he love me when he sees me
as I already love him?
I've loved him for so long...
Since the day I became broken.
Every step has led me toward him
and now so close I shiver to think of his hands in mine
and his lips touching my lips..
I know his voice, his smile
and the way it stretches across his face
and catches in his eyes too.
I know the feeling of his fingers
and understand that
~for the first time ever~
I will feel a man touch me
and I will not hurt.

I have been so patiently waiting,
keeping myself here for him
and even when doubt has held me under
and I couldn't breathe,
I could feel him moving closer.

I know his words
even before his lips start to move~
Feel the curves and depth of his very sweet and loving heart
and yet I've never touched it.
Yet.

I know he is a gentle lover
but passionate.
I have laid with him in my mind
and imagined our first touch.
He is sensitive to my soul
but not pitying.
And I feel that he too is waiting,
dreaming, moving toward me~
And every day he wakes he knows he is yet another day closer
to me,
to love
and to our life together....

When on that day we finally meet
it won't be words that connect us
but our eyes.
We will recognize each other as the one,
the only,
the love that we have waited so patiently for.
When he laces his fingers in mine
and I lay my head on his chest
I will hear his heart
beat with my name.
It will be as if his soul
and mine
missing that very special piece,
will feel whole finally.
Love and lust will appear to him
in the shape of my face
and body
but more importantly
my heart and soul.
And we will know that every misstep,
every broken piece of our hearts
and each time we felt pain
was worth it because it brought us here
to each other.
In love, in each other's arms
and totally and finally whole.

~Stacy J Roosa
2-24-2011

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