What do I do?

It's sad because as I've sat here this weekend anytime I talk I;ve found my husband not paying any attention.Too busy watching tv or talking about his job,he has no interest in what I have to say anymore. When that is the way things have become there seems to be no hope.

I am already feeling alone. The loss of my beloved family member,my cat Skylar,has rocked my already shaky world. I think I might have only felt the loss but because I haven't really dealt with Mom's death plus relationships that have come to be lost with no closure,Skylar dying in my arms made me a mess all over.

What do I do now? The man that I thought would always love me and never take me for granted is off in his own world.If he's not working he is sleeping or watching television. Not that I don't understand his need to "get away" from reality, but what am I to do when no matter how hard I try to hold on he is putting more effort into emptying out the DVR's content then trying to fill our few moments with real love. To be honest if I had any stability at all,any money that wasn't meant for bills. I would think about leaving. At least long enough to get my head together and for him to do the same....I am so confused and feel as lonely as ever.It seems like nothing changes.Nothing is getting better.And yet for all the things I know,feel and want,there is nothing I can afford to do. If I am just being overly sensitive I lose my husband.If instead I have been hiding the truth the entire time and my husband really has left me emotionally, then time will tell. If it wasn't for the kids this would be easier. As usual I do nothing because doing something means making a real decision.What do I have if I lose the only man that,to spite the fact that he seems to have no interest in me,truly loves me?

Who the hell knows anymore.....

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