~I Just Want To Be Loved~

~I think we all have heard that research has proved that babies feel loved more when a parent gently rubs their back,stomach or massages their arms and legs.To a baby who is put into a NICU (unit for babies born prematurely with breathing and/or other problems), interaction with their parent(s) is vital to their self-esteem, feelings of security and all future intimate relationships. A baby that is not loved, touched,hugged and kissed is most likely to suffer problems interacting through their lives.That is why doctors and nurses especially encourage parents to hug, snuggle or gently rub their babies skin.The human touch for a baby is as important as food; it's nourishment to a growing soul to be touched and to be loved. So why would it be any different to that soul as we become even older? Touch is communication without words. If someone wants to show a friend that they care often the first thing most people want to do is hug them. When people on line want to reach out to another who is under the weather or sad,they often write "hugs". Its so normal and even more comforting to want to feel someone put their arms around you.

~When I am in a loved one's arms I feel sheltered from the pain and from all in the world that is cold and hurtful. It is the most alluring quality of a lover to have them hold me when I am down or when they want to show me love. I could lay there forever just feeling the strong arms of a man encircle my body and hold me. It doesn't have to be sexual as even a friend can do this and make me feel warm and loved. Even a gesture like playing with my hair or tickling me makes me feel loved. Growing up in my family my Mother was always very loving with lots of hugs and kisses to share with us and never would we go anywhere or even to sleep without her telling us she loved us. I am the same way with my kids. I want my children to know that I love them, no matter what and that I love them unconditionally. I want them to know that at all times and especially when they have done something wrong. If we don't teach our own children that we will love them and forgive them no matter what they've done then they will most likely go onto believe that when they have made a mistake,even innocently, they are unlovable. That would make me feel awful as a Mom and person to allow my kids to think anything like that. Love,touch,reaching out to someone with words or your arms or in any kind of fashion you feel comfortable with is what will keep you connected to the world.

~I have a friend who is in a very far long-distance relationship. He hopes to meet this woman someday but has expressed that the distance is beginning to wear on both of them. I asked him if they had shared any on line flirting or anything and he said no. I told him to write to her,to tell her how much he wants to hold her and all that romantic,mushy stuff. No, it's not exactly the same as real touching but at least it will fill the void until they meet. Except for the fact that some people can be very rude on line sending unwanted e-mails and messages asking other people if they want to"hook up" or cyber-sex, the right person can make a long-distance romance very sweet and real. Then when the two meet imagine the fireworks as all their imaginings finally come true! Its not for everyone but for some its very nice.

~If nothing else I know how well my relationship with a man is going by how often he touches me...Does he lean in to kiss me for no reason other than because he wanted to? When he walks by does he reach out and touch me~My hand, my back or anywhere? If there is no physical communication a relationship can certainly fall apart. We as women need it to know we are desired and loved. Men maybe feel the same way. Too often in this world the word "touch" is undervalued or is linked to dark memories of abuse. Its when we learn the positive side of this word and use our touch whether in a kiss, an embrace or more that I think the world will become a more passionate, empathetic and loving place  <3

~Stacy J Roosa

For more information on bonding with kids click here:http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/communicating/bonding.html?tracking=P_RelatedArticle