~ I Love The Way He Loves Me~

I've always wanted the love of a man like him.  A man who, to spite seeing all the gorgeous woman who surround him, finds me more beautiful. A man who, in all the things he could be doing on his day off, simply wants to hold me and look into my eyes. I've never known what its like to be adored before him. Now that I feel it, I have to admit that it's the one thing, other than my amazing kids, that keeps me able to hold my head up. When he says "Good night beautiful" I know he's not just referring to the "beauty" he thinks I carry on the outside but also the me I show only him inside of me.  It's as if all this self doubt was measured and he was sent to me to remind me that I am more than my bad experiences and what I see in the mirror.

 But I am afraid I am going to lose his love.  ....That I may screw it up on some sub-conscious level because I don't believe I truly deserve it.  Only then when I am alone will I feel that I have what I deserve--Me, alone, with all the hate for myself to keep me company. 

 Each time a man from my past visits my world, whether in person or through an online site or phone call, I realize that what I have now is real and true.I feel the huge difference between being desired and being loved. I take notice of whether they really listen to me, ask me questions about my life or if they are just hoping to get a quick fix for their ego by remembering how much I once swooned over them.  I notice more than these men realize. I am not a fool. While no one is perfect, "he" listens to me...Cares about how the world and things around me affect me. He knows every scar I carry and every fear I hold inside. 

 I love and adore him for so many reasons that have nothing to do with what he does for me but the way he makes me feel makes my love for him double. I don't believe there is another man in the world who can love me like he does...No one.

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