~Not Living For Love Anymore~

Love is~

???

I have nothing....

I have felt like I've experienced it,

felt it being given to me

but then I'm not sure...

Like a dream I can't reach

It eludes me

so I push it away.

So many years of being hurt, disrespected

and worse, unread by others~

Not just my words~

(These very words)

But my heart, my very soul.

Am I just a fulfillment to a void she left behind?

Am I here because she isn't?

My voice tells me, "Of course you are....

You wouldn't be here otherwise."

So where would I be?

 What, why, where am I?

I cannot

will not

 be defined anymore by a man's love~

I will not feel like "less" because I reach out

and he does not reach back.

I will NOT hold my breath waiting for any man's kiss

or love

or validation

anymore.

This is me...

Crazy with thoughts,

talking too much

but honestly, with desire to do better,

to breathe life better

and always living through my heart.

Is it 'good enough' for you?

I am no longer waiting for the answer

because I should not feel the need to ask.

I want it to be all my man wants

and if he doesn't

then alone is my best friend.


~Stacy J French

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