~Why We Should Not Judge~
I have always been attracted to working with people. Until lately, it was the idea of helping others that gave me the feeling of giving back. Whether it was out of high school working with people with developmental disabilities or at my last job where I worked with people with addictions, I found the job rewarding because I could see some of myself in the people I was helping.
Its been too long since I've worked outside the home. When Mom died so unexpectedly I was working at my most demanding position, running a program that aided parents with addictions to live a normal, healthy life in order to get their kids back from foster care. I have never looked down on anyone I was helping simply because no one is above making mistakes, especially not me. What you or I may call a wine or beer at the end of the day another person may not be able to sleep or go through a simple day without. While I may not understand why a person would stick a needle full of poison into their own arm to feel the high street drugs can give, I have felt what control a prescribed medication can have over a person. Why do people inject drugs, I've wondered? It may be all that person knows after a life of watching family and friends doing it or it could be something that was offered at their lowest point. Judgment does NOT make people get better nor does it help the world understand why. I was not any better of a person merely because I was on the administrative side of the table.
To be good at such a "job" one must have real, true compassion. They have to lack judgment. They don't have to have wrestled with the same demons of addictions but they must know in their heart that no one is above addiction or making mistakes. We must fear the other side of the table yet also respect its power. One day a person might be helping a person with an addiction and the next the world could be falling apart with alcohol or drugs the only warmth and friend they can trust. While I don't understand how a person goes from drinking a beer to needing it, and more how a person can inhale, inject or smoke a drug, I also don't understand many things. While I don't wish addiction on anyone, I almost wish anyone of us could at least walk in the shoes of a person who has a mind, heart and life full of hurt or pain who, for whatever reason, they feel they need to drown their sorrows in a drink or drug.
Those people in the world who have become addicted, beat the addiction and then went onto work with others who are trying to survive it, I believe, can be the best support for someone with an addiction. A person who knows the pain of withdraw and the high of a drug will be able to identify with another. There is little to no judgment from a former user but instead they can share real tools and advice for how to deal with the problem. Let's be honest-If you are an addict it is not like having a broken leg-At least a person with a broken leg can sit down for some time and not feel the handicap of their affliction for sometime. Yet when you are an addict it is all around you. It affects your sleep or lack there of, your mood, what you will do for the day (especially if you are searching for your drug of choice), the way your entire body feels (withdraw is like the worst flu you will know times 10 with the body aches, vomiting, etc,). Addiction is not a part of your life-It IS your life.
People who have dealt with and fought addiction and have been able to get a handle on it will never just stop being addicts. In truth it will be a struggle for the rest of their life because if alcohol is your addiction,for example, most people cannot go on to just have a few and be able to move on. I've met a few people who say they were addicted to alcohol, beat it and are now able to drink in moderation but only time will tell if that is true for them. A bad day plus having the "yummy" poison in arms length could easily equal become an alcoholic overnight...or within a sip. Its been shown over time that its best to stay away from the drink, drug, food or whatever it is that makes you want to have it non-stop.
In my years of working with people with addictions I have read and heard people quote many sayings from "The Big Book" written by Bill W. He was, as I remember reading, an addict himself. He knew what he was saying when he was writing the steps on how to deal with addiction. He, unlike so many doctors before him, was familiar with every pang of alcoholism. He had lost a home, loved ones and respect because of his illness. He was not judging or preaching, he was reaching out and sharing what he knew in his life to be true. He spoke of giving himself up to higher power. It was the beginning of a huge movement and social change in the world of Alcoholism. No longer did it have to be a dirty secret or an misunderstood affliction but something that would bring people dealing with the pain of addiction together to talk and to work for their sobriety.
While I do not and have not had an addiction to alcohol, I have known addiction to pain medications. Because of the many surgeries to my right knee and my back injury that I have presently, I've had doctors give me pain meds for years. When it was time to stop and the doctor decided that I was no longer, in his opinion, needing them my body and mind went through such withdraw that not even giving birth could compare. Its that experience plus understanding that people can become addicted to anything they like that has made it possible for me to work with people with addictions. I have met some of the brightest, loving and wonderful people in my so-far short career there. I hope someday to return and that when I do this anxiety I've dealt with will give me a new found patience and understanding on yet another sector of our world. I've learned over and over through my own bumps and falls that no one has the right to judge another human. We all deserve love and understanding.
Its been too long since I've worked outside the home. When Mom died so unexpectedly I was working at my most demanding position, running a program that aided parents with addictions to live a normal, healthy life in order to get their kids back from foster care. I have never looked down on anyone I was helping simply because no one is above making mistakes, especially not me. What you or I may call a wine or beer at the end of the day another person may not be able to sleep or go through a simple day without. While I may not understand why a person would stick a needle full of poison into their own arm to feel the high street drugs can give, I have felt what control a prescribed medication can have over a person. Why do people inject drugs, I've wondered? It may be all that person knows after a life of watching family and friends doing it or it could be something that was offered at their lowest point. Judgment does NOT make people get better nor does it help the world understand why. I was not any better of a person merely because I was on the administrative side of the table.
To be good at such a "job" one must have real, true compassion. They have to lack judgment. They don't have to have wrestled with the same demons of addictions but they must know in their heart that no one is above addiction or making mistakes. We must fear the other side of the table yet also respect its power. One day a person might be helping a person with an addiction and the next the world could be falling apart with alcohol or drugs the only warmth and friend they can trust. While I don't understand how a person goes from drinking a beer to needing it, and more how a person can inhale, inject or smoke a drug, I also don't understand many things. While I don't wish addiction on anyone, I almost wish anyone of us could at least walk in the shoes of a person who has a mind, heart and life full of hurt or pain who, for whatever reason, they feel they need to drown their sorrows in a drink or drug.
Those people in the world who have become addicted, beat the addiction and then went onto work with others who are trying to survive it, I believe, can be the best support for someone with an addiction. A person who knows the pain of withdraw and the high of a drug will be able to identify with another. There is little to no judgment from a former user but instead they can share real tools and advice for how to deal with the problem. Let's be honest-If you are an addict it is not like having a broken leg-At least a person with a broken leg can sit down for some time and not feel the handicap of their affliction for sometime. Yet when you are an addict it is all around you. It affects your sleep or lack there of, your mood, what you will do for the day (especially if you are searching for your drug of choice), the way your entire body feels (withdraw is like the worst flu you will know times 10 with the body aches, vomiting, etc,). Addiction is not a part of your life-It IS your life.
People who have dealt with and fought addiction and have been able to get a handle on it will never just stop being addicts. In truth it will be a struggle for the rest of their life because if alcohol is your addiction,for example, most people cannot go on to just have a few and be able to move on. I've met a few people who say they were addicted to alcohol, beat it and are now able to drink in moderation but only time will tell if that is true for them. A bad day plus having the "yummy" poison in arms length could easily equal become an alcoholic overnight...or within a sip. Its been shown over time that its best to stay away from the drink, drug, food or whatever it is that makes you want to have it non-stop.
In my years of working with people with addictions I have read and heard people quote many sayings from "The Big Book" written by Bill W. He was, as I remember reading, an addict himself. He knew what he was saying when he was writing the steps on how to deal with addiction. He, unlike so many doctors before him, was familiar with every pang of alcoholism. He had lost a home, loved ones and respect because of his illness. He was not judging or preaching, he was reaching out and sharing what he knew in his life to be true. He spoke of giving himself up to higher power. It was the beginning of a huge movement and social change in the world of Alcoholism. No longer did it have to be a dirty secret or an misunderstood affliction but something that would bring people dealing with the pain of addiction together to talk and to work for their sobriety.
While I do not and have not had an addiction to alcohol, I have known addiction to pain medications. Because of the many surgeries to my right knee and my back injury that I have presently, I've had doctors give me pain meds for years. When it was time to stop and the doctor decided that I was no longer, in his opinion, needing them my body and mind went through such withdraw that not even giving birth could compare. Its that experience plus understanding that people can become addicted to anything they like that has made it possible for me to work with people with addictions. I have met some of the brightest, loving and wonderful people in my so-far short career there. I hope someday to return and that when I do this anxiety I've dealt with will give me a new found patience and understanding on yet another sector of our world. I've learned over and over through my own bumps and falls that no one has the right to judge another human. We all deserve love and understanding.
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