~ Love In The Shadow of Her~

He reaches out to touch me even in slumber...
I feel his hand searching, feeling for me.
He holds me till morning blossoms.

 Often at night he dreams...
It sounds as if he's crying out for someone.
It's not a name or a word I understand
just a pained sound in the dark.

 I wonder with pause if it is me he's reaching for.
Is it my name he fights to get out in his sleep?
Or is it her~
His love from another time...
the Wife he lost.

 And can I live with being his second choice?
...That I only exist in his world as an after thought...
A runner up.

 Yet I want to give him Love~
To hold him through his pain, his loss...
His very loss of her.
I've never asked him to put her out of his mind or words
because, having lost people too,
I know the hole that's left
and that our memory of them
does not get buried with them.

 ...Still, I also need love,
to be someone's soul mate,
the love of their life.
I need to be adored because I'm me,
because I'm Stacy,
but not because she's not here.

 And yet I never imagine a choice..
There is none.
Suddenly I feel so selfish for having these thoughts,
for feeling these emotions...
The truth is that he deserves to be loved
and to give love...
~To always celebrate his love with her
while giving thanks that he can love again.
And I wonder, 
is there such a thing as soul mates destined to love?
Or do we find each other and the connection begins?

 I think I'd rather believe this idea
because in the first no one who believes in soul mates
can possibly imagine that a man or woman
who loses his partner 
can ever find happiness again....
© 2014 Stacy J French~Roosa (All rights reserved)

 1/7/2014

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