~Pushing Back~

I have never known a Love I couldn't push away. 
A Love when pushed too far I have to beg him to stay.
I've never known how to fight for me for fear he'll leave.
I will always take run to prove my heart he'll deceive.

 Mines a broken heart or perhaps one that never grew...
But with so much loss, I know I'll lose him too.
Better to chose the day of our Love's demise
than to ever see Goodbye cloud his beautiful eyes.

 So I push and I push until he has no other way.
Because being the one whose given up is so much easier than feeling betrayed.
I don't push him, in truth, hoping he will flee...
Yet I push and push to see if he wants to be free.

 I've felt a hundred goodbyes and never knew a man who fought.
..Not for me, for us or for the life together we sought.
I've grown so tired of fighting and not getting back any fight...
Who doesn't want to know they're loved and needed at the end of the night?

 Mines a broken heart or perhaps one that never grew...
But with so much loss, I know I'll lose him too.
Better to chose the day of our Love's demise
than to ever see Goodbye cloud his beautiful eyes.

 So, I'm taking this pain and putting it out of my mind...
Surely, there's a Love out there that will return my push in kind.
He'll hold me close and promise me he won't go away
no matter how much I push, pull, ask him to stay...
He'll remain because he loves me. He'll understand me because he knows.
And in that moment I'll finally believe that Love doesn't die but instead Grows.

© 2014 Stacy J French~Roosa (All rights reserved)




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