Keeping It Real

My face book status today:

"After I made the very difficult decision to leave my husband and end a 15 year marriage about a year ago, I lost many friends and, it seems, some of my own family's love and respect...I very rarely get even a "hello" e-mail returned to me. I was once told by an aunt how financially crazy it was of me to leave him and that I should beg him to come back to me. No, I said, I chose to be safe physically even if I have to be "poor". And mentally I needed to be free of the roller coaster of emotions. The loss of my family and friends support has hurt worse than the marriage's end and its been burning its way through my heart and stomach lining. Now that its said I feel free. Thank you to the people who have stood by me...You may not have agreed with my decision or even knew the reasons behind them, but you didn't need reasons...You simply loved and supported me without asking for anything in return. You know who you are. ♥"

 I find no matter how hard I try to come into this place to blog, my true and honest voice is easily found when I write a face book status. If it will help me to get here then its okay with me to start there. The thing is, I don't want people who I write about to feel that I am "throwing them under the bus" (as the over used saying goes) but if I am not able to write about my real life and feelings and the people who were part of it then what is the use of writing at all? So here I will apologize to anyone who feels its unfair for me to talk about them. I very rarely use names unless its a positive statement yet I know that having a memory shared with me written out in black and white is difficult because you might feel like people who know us will make the connection but truthfully, I don't think anyone who is related to me or who I've known personally has ever come here to read except for maybe 2 people. (ANd don't think that truth doesn't hurt me beyond words because it does!!) Writing is my life....its like if a friend played piano or danced and I didn't bother to  listen to or watch them...I have often felt like what I do doesn't Measure up and why wouldn't I? I make a point to support my loved ones in all their ventures, even if I don't understand their desire to do them...So why don't I get back that same respect?

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