~Just A Word~
In all my time of blogging I have received several dozens of comments to my posts. Positive ones all of them. Except for one. The other day after blogging after a very difficult and stressful day arguing with my Ex I came into my blog to find a comment. It wasn't rude. It was ignorant.The person also didn't leave their name, of course. Well, I write openly and honestly. I may use my blog sometimes as a very honest diary-like writing outlet but at least I am willing to put my name to my words. So what do I have to say to my not-so-smart commentator? While I welcome all feedback I am also human. No one wants to pour their heart out onto such an open kind of thing just to have someone-anyone-leave their 2 cents...Especially when they are not trying to be helpful but only hurtful. I don't think the person who commented meant to be hurtful but I DO think they are very ignorant.
First of all, I make no lies about what I write about. If you read my blog title and description you will see that I write about my agoraphobia and other struggles. I don't say I am perfect or that I have beat my illness but that I am trying.
Second of all, everything I do is for my kids. Don't ever go there.They are aware I write a blog and that I use it for theraputic purposes. I ask them that if they want to read it we discuss it. I ask that they are open about their own feelings. If it bothers them about anything I write I want to know that. As you made mention of, anonymous, I am a very caring and loving person. My kids are number one. THAT is why what happens with my Ex is so painful to watch.
Third....Your comment ( and I quote) " If you would move on, you would feel a whole lot better than being stuck in a constant state of dispair". ). If people with any problems of any kind would just become another person they could be better...maybe be as perfect as you, lol. Do you live on earth? Honestly! If it was easy to just let go of an issue then there would be no baggage, no therapists and absolutely no people hurting. We all have our crosses to bear and I refuse to believe that you yourself are on this earth with absolutely NO issues. I am a very giving, empathetic and loving person. My friends problems affect me as often as my own. Still, If I were to know someone afraid of heights, I mean deathly scared, I wouldn't tell them to "Simply get over it". And if I wasn't interested in hearing them "complain" about their phobia and discuss how they are dealing with it then I simply WOULDN'T read their darn blog. It's that simple. If I am not moving on fast enough for you then move on yourself.
Fourth...I don't just write for therapy but for the idea that I really truly want to help others who are going through similar experiences. Do you know how many phobias are out there? Do you realize how badly agoraphobia can influence someone's life. As I've "Complained" ( as you so eloquently put it) almost a year ago I couldn't leave the house without having a panic attack. Now I go out 2-3 times a day. I think that is HUGE and I am proud of it. As for complaining about my ex...I use no names. While I realize that people who know me will know who I am speaking of I don't invite them specifically to read my blog if it bothers them. THis is MY blog not his. He has his own way of telling people his side...I don't speak negatively about him but when I am in a 3 hour argument with him over our kids and I am upset I have every right to put my feelings in here and to not apologize....You yourself mention a therapist and I think that is funny. I see a therapist and I deal with my emotions. If I didn't then I would be worse off. But that is exactly why all of this is ironic to me. You put me down for writing about my emotions, say that I should get over them, then tell me to go see a shrink. Did someone tie you down and force you to read my blog about my struggle? Was it me? NO....I write for me and for people who like to know they are not alone with their own crap. Those people write very positive comments...Often times they too tell me that they hope I will be able to move on but they don't say it in a negative and judgmental way as you have. Oh, and they leave their name cause they don't have anything to hide from. Just saying.
Fifth and final....You wrote "Maybe volunteering could help you get your mind off yourself while making a difference in the lives of others". Are you kidding me? While most my career and life has been directed towards helping others you wouldn't know that because you got stuck at my "problem" and stood there in judgment. I have volunteered often and am looking forward to continuing. I have worked with people with developmental disabilities, addictions and so on. But that is not what I choose to blog about. I blog about the abuse I've endured and survived at the moment I am giving all of my time to my kids. They deserve all of me. They are dealing with a lot with the divorce. You also wrote, "You say you don't feel sorry for yourself..." If you read my blog correctly I didn't say I am not feeling sorry for myself. I said I am sick of feeling sorry for myself. Its part of what I am going through but I don't have to explain anything to you. Often I spend too much time in my blog writing all the reasons why I fear leaving the house or when It started but then I go back and erase it. No one has to have a reason for why they became ill. Its a real issue and its not easily gotten "over". Maybe someday you will meet someone who has confronted many life-changing issues and who has become less than themselves and I hope that you can put aside this hate you seem to have for anyone who is emotional to really see that they just need time.
You have taught me one thing about myself. While I have often been sent very sweet and supportive comments from people who have found strength through my truthful writings of being abused, its people like you who make me want to simply stop sharing my heart. Its easy to let someone like you-judgmental and ignorant-stop me in my tracks before I wear my heart on my sleeve but I refuse! Its not you who I wish to help...Its people who feel hopeless about themselves. Judgmental people like you will never get it. I am not going to let you win. I have a lot to share with the world. Somedays its upbeat with stories of how I got out of the house and other days I get down on myself and have to fight to leave my bed. But I DO leave my bed. But the people who have yet to get to that point don't deserve your rude judgment! Everyday I go out of the house or deal with the inevitable difficulties of being separated from my ex but I grow and I am getting better.
Please, ignorant one....Go find someone else to bother and leave people who are truly trying to get healthy alone. I will not apologize for using writing as a therapeutic tool to getting better but I am sorry I wasted my time and words on you because there really is no use in trying to educate someone who is judgmental and ignorant and I doubt you will come back to read because your life seems to be all about you.
First of all, I make no lies about what I write about. If you read my blog title and description you will see that I write about my agoraphobia and other struggles. I don't say I am perfect or that I have beat my illness but that I am trying.
Second of all, everything I do is for my kids. Don't ever go there.They are aware I write a blog and that I use it for theraputic purposes. I ask them that if they want to read it we discuss it. I ask that they are open about their own feelings. If it bothers them about anything I write I want to know that. As you made mention of, anonymous, I am a very caring and loving person. My kids are number one. THAT is why what happens with my Ex is so painful to watch.
Third....Your comment ( and I quote) " If you would move on, you would feel a whole lot better than being stuck in a constant state of dispair". ). If people with any problems of any kind would just become another person they could be better...maybe be as perfect as you, lol. Do you live on earth? Honestly! If it was easy to just let go of an issue then there would be no baggage, no therapists and absolutely no people hurting. We all have our crosses to bear and I refuse to believe that you yourself are on this earth with absolutely NO issues. I am a very giving, empathetic and loving person. My friends problems affect me as often as my own. Still, If I were to know someone afraid of heights, I mean deathly scared, I wouldn't tell them to "Simply get over it". And if I wasn't interested in hearing them "complain" about their phobia and discuss how they are dealing with it then I simply WOULDN'T read their darn blog. It's that simple. If I am not moving on fast enough for you then move on yourself.
Fourth...I don't just write for therapy but for the idea that I really truly want to help others who are going through similar experiences. Do you know how many phobias are out there? Do you realize how badly agoraphobia can influence someone's life. As I've "Complained" ( as you so eloquently put it) almost a year ago I couldn't leave the house without having a panic attack. Now I go out 2-3 times a day. I think that is HUGE and I am proud of it. As for complaining about my ex...I use no names. While I realize that people who know me will know who I am speaking of I don't invite them specifically to read my blog if it bothers them. THis is MY blog not his. He has his own way of telling people his side...I don't speak negatively about him but when I am in a 3 hour argument with him over our kids and I am upset I have every right to put my feelings in here and to not apologize....You yourself mention a therapist and I think that is funny. I see a therapist and I deal with my emotions. If I didn't then I would be worse off. But that is exactly why all of this is ironic to me. You put me down for writing about my emotions, say that I should get over them, then tell me to go see a shrink. Did someone tie you down and force you to read my blog about my struggle? Was it me? NO....I write for me and for people who like to know they are not alone with their own crap. Those people write very positive comments...Often times they too tell me that they hope I will be able to move on but they don't say it in a negative and judgmental way as you have. Oh, and they leave their name cause they don't have anything to hide from. Just saying.
Fifth and final....You wrote "Maybe volunteering could help you get your mind off yourself while making a difference in the lives of others". Are you kidding me? While most my career and life has been directed towards helping others you wouldn't know that because you got stuck at my "problem" and stood there in judgment. I have volunteered often and am looking forward to continuing. I have worked with people with developmental disabilities, addictions and so on. But that is not what I choose to blog about. I blog about the abuse I've endured and survived at the moment I am giving all of my time to my kids. They deserve all of me. They are dealing with a lot with the divorce. You also wrote, "You say you don't feel sorry for yourself..." If you read my blog correctly I didn't say I am not feeling sorry for myself. I said I am sick of feeling sorry for myself. Its part of what I am going through but I don't have to explain anything to you. Often I spend too much time in my blog writing all the reasons why I fear leaving the house or when It started but then I go back and erase it. No one has to have a reason for why they became ill. Its a real issue and its not easily gotten "over". Maybe someday you will meet someone who has confronted many life-changing issues and who has become less than themselves and I hope that you can put aside this hate you seem to have for anyone who is emotional to really see that they just need time.
You have taught me one thing about myself. While I have often been sent very sweet and supportive comments from people who have found strength through my truthful writings of being abused, its people like you who make me want to simply stop sharing my heart. Its easy to let someone like you-judgmental and ignorant-stop me in my tracks before I wear my heart on my sleeve but I refuse! Its not you who I wish to help...Its people who feel hopeless about themselves. Judgmental people like you will never get it. I am not going to let you win. I have a lot to share with the world. Somedays its upbeat with stories of how I got out of the house and other days I get down on myself and have to fight to leave my bed. But I DO leave my bed. But the people who have yet to get to that point don't deserve your rude judgment! Everyday I go out of the house or deal with the inevitable difficulties of being separated from my ex but I grow and I am getting better.
Please, ignorant one....Go find someone else to bother and leave people who are truly trying to get healthy alone. I will not apologize for using writing as a therapeutic tool to getting better but I am sorry I wasted my time and words on you because there really is no use in trying to educate someone who is judgmental and ignorant and I doubt you will come back to read because your life seems to be all about you.
dont let this person get you down stacy...you, and just reading this has helped me with my issues im dealing with...all to often people judge . your right....this person may feel differently if someone was ripping the heart out of them, and how would the story change when they went looking for support. keep going and continue to be the person you are...love you :)
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