Random Thoughts/Worries



This is not so much a poem as it is a stream of thoughts I let myself realize tonight...


You say you love me

yet your words have no arms...

Your promises can't hold me

through the night

but make me cold

and longing for Love.


You say you need me...

Still, I am forever sitting here alone

In a world all my own

that Is being quickly built out of doubt.


You say you want to spend your life with me...

That you want to give me the world...

That you will protect me and my kids..

So, why are we here in this

in between space?

Why are you stalling and taking such time

when you are the only one who can

give us the very start of our life?




You seem to hold your own pride

above and beyond your love for me...







I am imagining the life you've spoken...

The words like bricks

piece together our walls.

But Promises can't support these walls

and hope will not create the floor under my toes.


A home is waiting for us yet you are gone somewhere

and I don't know if you'll come back.

All I can think is that you've fallen out of love

with me.


I followed you these 3000 miles

I pushed down all my fears

and my desperate need to be safe in my home.

I've trusted you completely

like no other person I've known.

I wanted to be with you

yet give you back to your family too.

So... why do you seem so unhappy?

Why have you pulled away?


Walls of doubt are growing out of the ground

and wrapping their safe and warm arms around me...

They promise me safety from a heart break.

To spite being alone there, I am honestly less alone

then I am here then when I am with you

and you are in that secret world.

My kids and I drove with you

from one side of the country

to the other,

left all the friends and the comforts we knew

only to find that here where you lived before us

takes you a galaxy away.


Please, I beg you...Come back to my arms,

be the man I knew...

If you can't, then let me at least know

because I can't keep building this house

and life in my head

if you're going to take it down

with one word...


Stacy

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