Things I've Learned in 2012
This is a list of things I've learned this year...that I hope and pray not to repeat in 2013. But hey, if I do, I am sure it won't be the end of the world!
1. No matter how much you love someone, its not worth anything if you don't show them. People cannot read your mind~Or heart~for that matter. So I have learned and continue to see that I need to show my love.
2. A person can be good and yet do bad things. Judging someone based on one thing they did would be like cutting down a tree simply because a leaf falls off and dies. We are all made up of many branches and leaves...So give people a break. Which leads me to my next one...
3.NO ONE has the right to treat you like crap. Not your Mom or Dad, your Sister or brother, your Priest, teacher, boss or anyone else. This is a lesson I am still learning because it has to come from self esteem and self worth in order to believe in this and I am still working on mine. Regardless though of who they are and No matter what situation, you have the right to demand to be treated like a human...And if you aren't treated well then read and do number 4
4. You have the right and the obligation to yourself to walk away if a person or people treat you badly or allow others to. I learned this over the past 2 years because I FINALLY left an unhappy, unemotional marriage of 15 years and I for once, put my foot down to a friend of 17 years because she was "allowing" her husband to talk to me like I was less than. I say allow because even though she wasn't doing it herself, she continued to smile and laugh when he did it. She never once stood up for me. So I walked away. Am I sad? Yes...but I deserve better. This lesson leads me to (you guessed it) my next thing I learned, number 5 :)
5. No matter how long you've known someone or how many years you've been their best friend, a misunderstanding no matter how small or stupid to them, can make that friendship cease. You can't control their end of it. The truth is that if they ever loved and understood you they still go on loving you. And, they may just swallow their own pride and apologize. If not well, they aren't worth the time you put into them. Move on.
6. An argument may not be your fault and then again it may but the truth is that someone HAS to apologize when a mistake or misunderstanding happens IF they want to continue to be friends. You don't have to say sorry for something that you indeed didn't do but you can say you're sorry that the misunderstanding happened at all. If that other person loves you, this will be there chance to make things right. In the end who cares who is wrong? As long as it doesn't continue to happen and you deal with what caused the strife in the first place, everything should fall back into place. But don't DON'T DON'T Ever allow yourself to be put back into a place or situation that you know is not healthy or good for you.
7. Just cause you have known someone "all" of your life doesn't mean that your life is good with them in it. Sometimes people bring us down...You need to live a life that is free of as much stress as possible.
8. You cannot control other people. You can't make them love you and you certainly cannot make them treat you well. It's you who needs to change. No, not yourself but your thinking. You don't need negativity. This sounds like the last few I've mentioned but they go hand in hand.
9. There is no better time to do something than now. Still learning this one....I either do something so quickly so I can say its done that its not quite right or I want to make is so perfect that I put it off until I can make the right changes and it doesn't get done. (If you could see my unpublished blogs you would understand.)
10. I have learned the very difficult way that I cannot make things good between my ex husband to be and our kids. I don't and won't put him down to the kids but when they come to me upset because they feel he did this or didnt do that I have to let them figure it out. I've hidden the truth from them, made up for mistakes their father has made and boasted him as a good father for too long. Yes, I believe with all my heart that my ex loves them but its up to him to put them first...I can't make up for what he fails to do...This lesson is so very difficult and I am sure I will screw up at times(I've said he's called when he hasn't or that he tried to make it when he doesn't). No more. Life is about learning that some people no matter how much they love you, fail to do the right thing. I cannot hide that anymore. Its a lesson that's best learned now I suppose. *I am cringing as I write this because its the worst to see your kids hurting...
11. Last but not least. You are just as important as the person you are constantly trying to help, please and love. If you can give them a break when they mess up why can't you do the same for yourself? Look at yourself from the outside sometimes and see yourself as a separate entity...a friend who needs you. What would you do for that person? You certainly wouldn't treat them the way you often treat yourself--not offering them nourishment and attention, health and love. Its time to take care of yourself so you can take care of others too.
I hope you found some of yourself in here. I hope you find a way to love yourself. I am still working on it, always will. 2012 taught me that I am worth it and that the minutes, hours and days that I sleep, ignore and hide away CAN NOT be taken back. Its time to live.
1. No matter how much you love someone, its not worth anything if you don't show them. People cannot read your mind~Or heart~for that matter. So I have learned and continue to see that I need to show my love.
2. A person can be good and yet do bad things. Judging someone based on one thing they did would be like cutting down a tree simply because a leaf falls off and dies. We are all made up of many branches and leaves...So give people a break. Which leads me to my next one...
3.NO ONE has the right to treat you like crap. Not your Mom or Dad, your Sister or brother, your Priest, teacher, boss or anyone else. This is a lesson I am still learning because it has to come from self esteem and self worth in order to believe in this and I am still working on mine. Regardless though of who they are and No matter what situation, you have the right to demand to be treated like a human...And if you aren't treated well then read and do number 4
4. You have the right and the obligation to yourself to walk away if a person or people treat you badly or allow others to. I learned this over the past 2 years because I FINALLY left an unhappy, unemotional marriage of 15 years and I for once, put my foot down to a friend of 17 years because she was "allowing" her husband to talk to me like I was less than. I say allow because even though she wasn't doing it herself, she continued to smile and laugh when he did it. She never once stood up for me. So I walked away. Am I sad? Yes...but I deserve better. This lesson leads me to (you guessed it) my next thing I learned, number 5 :)
5. No matter how long you've known someone or how many years you've been their best friend, a misunderstanding no matter how small or stupid to them, can make that friendship cease. You can't control their end of it. The truth is that if they ever loved and understood you they still go on loving you. And, they may just swallow their own pride and apologize. If not well, they aren't worth the time you put into them. Move on.
6. An argument may not be your fault and then again it may but the truth is that someone HAS to apologize when a mistake or misunderstanding happens IF they want to continue to be friends. You don't have to say sorry for something that you indeed didn't do but you can say you're sorry that the misunderstanding happened at all. If that other person loves you, this will be there chance to make things right. In the end who cares who is wrong? As long as it doesn't continue to happen and you deal with what caused the strife in the first place, everything should fall back into place. But don't DON'T DON'T Ever allow yourself to be put back into a place or situation that you know is not healthy or good for you.
7. Just cause you have known someone "all" of your life doesn't mean that your life is good with them in it. Sometimes people bring us down...You need to live a life that is free of as much stress as possible.
8. You cannot control other people. You can't make them love you and you certainly cannot make them treat you well. It's you who needs to change. No, not yourself but your thinking. You don't need negativity. This sounds like the last few I've mentioned but they go hand in hand.
9. There is no better time to do something than now. Still learning this one....I either do something so quickly so I can say its done that its not quite right or I want to make is so perfect that I put it off until I can make the right changes and it doesn't get done. (If you could see my unpublished blogs you would understand.)
10. I have learned the very difficult way that I cannot make things good between my ex husband to be and our kids. I don't and won't put him down to the kids but when they come to me upset because they feel he did this or didnt do that I have to let them figure it out. I've hidden the truth from them, made up for mistakes their father has made and boasted him as a good father for too long. Yes, I believe with all my heart that my ex loves them but its up to him to put them first...I can't make up for what he fails to do...This lesson is so very difficult and I am sure I will screw up at times(I've said he's called when he hasn't or that he tried to make it when he doesn't). No more. Life is about learning that some people no matter how much they love you, fail to do the right thing. I cannot hide that anymore. Its a lesson that's best learned now I suppose. *I am cringing as I write this because its the worst to see your kids hurting...
11. Last but not least. You are just as important as the person you are constantly trying to help, please and love. If you can give them a break when they mess up why can't you do the same for yourself? Look at yourself from the outside sometimes and see yourself as a separate entity...a friend who needs you. What would you do for that person? You certainly wouldn't treat them the way you often treat yourself--not offering them nourishment and attention, health and love. Its time to take care of yourself so you can take care of others too.
I hope you found some of yourself in here. I hope you find a way to love yourself. I am still working on it, always will. 2012 taught me that I am worth it and that the minutes, hours and days that I sleep, ignore and hide away CAN NOT be taken back. Its time to live.
Comments
Post a Comment
Have something to add?